TO A FRIEND WHO IS THINKING ABOUT WRITING/DIRECTING THEIR FIRST FILM:

Thoughts on the First Time

I also hope that one day soon you will send me an email with your piece, in whatever shape it is in, and I can return the favor to you. I first sent Good Dick out when it was 60 pages. You are in incredible shape. You are beyond capable of writing and directing something, this, something else. You are the kind of actress who can direct and write, it is so obvious, just in the multitude of happening in your face in like every frame of your films, or simply in the look in your eye when it is gazing at something, or your mouths curves when it speaks. They don't teach beauty you know, they can only shape it. Beauty is an internal aspect. It is a respect for the self and it oozes out of you, golden for all to see. You shouldn't have any trouble.

The best artists and filmmakers are those whose golden light we'll never see. They are taxi drivers. They work in diners. They care for the sick. They fight. They are cleaning bed pans, gorgeously, with love in their hearts and with compassion coming through their hands; and we are missing the master pieces that they will never make or show. You came to LA for good reasons. This is one of them. You are here. You are able. You can do it. You could do it with your eyes closed. You ought to do it for those who cannot. You ought to do it with them in mind. You ought to know what your work will mean to them. You ought to never forget that that is why you do what you do, because some cannot. Every kind word of yours, is for them. Every polite order of direction of yours, is for them. Every dress or suit you wear to an event, every piece of jewelry of yours that you put on your wrist, is for them. Every frame of film you are in or you watch, is for them. Every morning of yours at dawn when rising, is for their sake. So, later on, when you meet people whose lives have been changed by your film, you thank them. When someone cries because of what you have made, you commune with them, speak with them. When someone asks for a picture with you, you hug with them.

This work is much more suited to you than to anyone else, it is easy for you. If anyone is going to continue to rock the free world, it is you. Something happens when a camera is around you, or near you, you're whole being knows it and despite whatever bullshit challenge may be falsely in place in the status quo, your body always knows what to do. Getting stressed out is a choice, and you don't make that choice, fools and intruders make such a choice, those who are not listening. Be kind. Everything flows. Rule with love as a director, as a leader, and not with fear. It is not classy to rule with fear, it is not even practical nor efficient. This is why ADs who rule with fear are simply unprofessional. PA and ACTOR are both valuable. Treating an EXTRA differently than a FINANCIER is ignorance.

It is important to know the difference between being capable of something (many people make films: ****** *** for example) and being beyond capable of something (some people, like you, make great films). Like you, Richard Burton was beyond capable. Peter Mullan is beyond capable. These people, they could, like you, do it under any circumstances. "It" is the stuff of art, the stuff of life, that which we live for, that which we create for. "It" has already beckoned you. "It" sits with the lucky few who can afford to let it work for them and with them and on them. "It" sat with John Cassevetes, "It" sits with Ron Howard. I mention only men here because you are a woman, and you are their equal, and if you cannot conceive of that, then you must change your thinking for it is bogus to try to live a life in art thinking any other way. Whatever your class, your race, your body type, your birth place, your face, your sexuality, your upbringing, you are equal. "It" works for kings and queens and street dwellers alike, the same, in balance, in fairness.

The task is actually already completed, you just have to write it down and let others see what you have written. You can't make a mistake or a wrong step, it is not possible for you, there are no false moves, only progress. The beat goes on. Can you take everything you have, and make it into something? You already know everything you need to know. Plus, you can't really help it. It happens to you, not vise versa.

You just have to get out of the way so it can do its work. And you know what is happening. You are just too good to not slip to one side and watch it work for you. One day you may be in your shower and think to yourself, "I am the best writer/director/actress/artist that ever there was. This is the best film of all time." And you will know it, terrifically, to be true. The very next day, you may be in your shower and think to yourself, "My God, I have made the worst film of all time. No one should ever see it. I am a faker and an idiot. How could I ever think I was anything else?" And you will know it, horrifically, to be true. These are both valid experiences, and you ought to have them both, but treat them as one. They compliment each other. They are both your friends. And they ought to make you giggle, because we can be so foolish with ourselves sometimes. You ought to allow that. You ought to be light hearted about your lofty ideas as well as your self loathing. What is truly yours is distinct from both these thought forms. What you've truly got in you. You know what you've got and it is good. And you say thank you, and you keep working, everyday, and you smile at everyone who graces you enough to give you their time. You must know that you deserve it. As they deserve yours.

Dreams Come True. Mx.